Tempster

I'm in love with a blue honda and I cant have it!

2006-05-17T19:35:57Z

So...summer has begun with promisings of a relaxed enjoyable time in Pawling (ha ha just kidding)

A quick summery of the last semester:

Best fucking time ever. Im not really sure how I pulled it off but I did the RA position and 21 credits. I met some of the best fucking people and partied...ALOT! So many memories to speak of but probably should be kept to myself b'c "RA's" dont party or smoke. Ha ha! The end was a bit emotional but I'm not going to far from Coby so I'll be able to visit. There is only one person who is truely leaving me but we are doing our "goodbyes" at the end of the summer.(its never really goodbye) I got my associates and its off to Oneonta aka StoneOnta. 2nd semester planning on getting an aprtment with Dane and Damien. Cant wait!

And now Im home and its already starting to be a let down. Im pretty sure I was called dominatrix (yah..me..too funny) Im also car shopping and I fell in love with the cutest honda and I have a feeling im gonna have to let it go butttt, its SO me.

But home is sweet. I get all the Trisha and Chris I want. I get to have sleepovers wit Tin and Aly will be home tommorow. My fieldtrip and I will be riding dirty all summer so dont be hatin or patrollin. Blunt rides on Quaker are approaching and I cant wait. I saw Tito, Martin, and Tucky and Court which was really nice. Its gonna be a great summer with them too.

Pool parties and beach are approaching...let the SUN come out!

My gradation party is being planned for June 3 so Ill give everyone the updates...

The rest of the week should be fun with:
Trisha and I comitting to the track @ 5
Da Vinci Code on Friday
more car shopping on Sat
the bar with the crew on Sat. night..and im not the DD so Chris and I are getting CrUnKeDDDD

And whatever else comes my way, Im open =)

Still debating on living in Lake George for a couple weeks with Dane

Amsterdam in January for my 21st and getting Trisha and KenzZz to smoke...YES!!
-cant effing wait for that-Trisha,Chris,Gzim,KenzZz, my mom and Eileen!!

much love,
Coby

Follow your heart

2006-03-23T04:21:56Z

Sittin on duty for the 4th time this week----

I'm not really sure what to write here...there's just so much shit going on. I've come to the conclusion that my entries used to be more pletiful not because I had more time, but life was probably alot less complexed then. It's almost immposible to write down in words whats really going on...but i guess it all breaks down to change..the time has come once again for me to move on..im done with Coby in a few weeks and im freaking out..im not sure what my next step is but hopefully it'll be the right one

I'm just jaded i suppose
---and ill never regret these years

Skip to the chorus

2006-02-12T01:51:38Z

It's so fucked up. The memories I hold instead of making it easier, makes it harder.

Currently Im stuck in this dorm with hauntings from a time when I was happy. There's away it used to be. It was crime for it to be stolen away like it was. I'm trying to be mature in my outlooks but that maturity turns to bitterness and the unhappiness turns to depression. I've turned into my biggest fear...a pulled quote from a song. When did life turn this dramatic. My individuality and stregnth has shattered into a billion pieces. I'm scared to death about the out come of this year. This semester will say alot, follow my head or heart. Can I muster the confidence to walk away or will I follow??

we'll just have to wait and see

Selfish??

2006-01-25T07:22:55Z

The feeling Im feeling is indescribable. If I never met you it would have been alot different.

The best solution I can think about is you disapearing b/c the idea of you reappearing isn't reality..its a myth...an illusion

I loved the idea of you but actions speak louder then words...and...you are just so selfish.

Fuck you.

man im a loser

2006-01-23T04:22:52Z

99 Yes's or 99 No's
You can only say yes or no.

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

1. Taken a picture naked? no
2. Painted your room? Yes
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? no
4. Drove a car? Yes
5. Danced in front of your mirror? Yes
6. Have a crush? Yes
7. Been dumped? no
8. Stolen money from a friend? No
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? yes
10. Been in a fist fight? yes
11. Snuck out of your house? no
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes
13. Been arrested? No
14. kissed a stranger? yes
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? no
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? Yes
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? no
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? Yes
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the opposite sex? Yes
20. Seen someone die? No
21. Been on a plane? Yes
22. Kissed a picture? Yes
23. Slept in until 3? yes
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? Yes
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes
26. Made a snow angel? Yes
27. Played dress up? Yes
28. Cheated while playing a game? Yes
29. Been lonely? Yes
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? yes
31. Been to a club? Yes
33. Touched a snake? Yes
34. Ran a red light? Yes
35. Been suspended from school? no
36. Had detention? yes
37. Been in a car accident? Yes
38. Hated the way you look? Yes
39. Witnessed a crime? No
40. Pole danced? no
41. Been lost? Yes
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? No
43. Felt like dying? yes
44. Cried yourself to sleep? Yes
46. Sang karaoke? yes
48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
50. Kissed in the rain? no
51. Sang in the shower? Yes
52. Made love in a park? no
53. Had a dream that you married someone? yes
54. Glued your hand to something? no
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? No
56. Ever gone to school partially WHAT? ???
57. Been a cheerleader? no
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? No
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? Yes
61. Played chicken? no
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes
63. Been hit on by a complete stranger? yes
64. Broken a bone? yes
65. Been easily amused? Yes
66. Laugh so hard you cry? Yes
67. Mooned/flashed someone? No
68. Cheated on a test? Yes
69. Forgotten someone's name? Yes
70. Slept naked? Yes
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? no
73. Blacked out from drinking? Yes
74. Played a prank on someone? Yes
75. Gone to a late night movie? Yes
76. Made love to anything not human? No
77. Failed a class? Yes
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? yes
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? no
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? no
81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? yes
82. Thrown strange objects? Yes
83. Felt like killing someone? Yes
84. Felt like running away? Yes
85. Ran away? yes
86. Did drugs? yes
87. Had detention and not attend it? No
89. Seen a parent cry? Yes
90. Cried over someone? Yes
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? Yes
92. Had feelings for one of your best/good friends? Yes
93. Had/Have a dog? Yes
95. Own an instrument? Yes
96. Been in a band? Yes
97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? no
98. Broken a CD? Yes
99. Shot a gun? yes

Sitting Duty...

2006-01-15T20:56:02Z

So I'm here..back to Coby for my last semester. Im excited but a little scared. I hope I do well, 21 credits ahead of me. I hope I can hack it. So my goal this semester is to get my ass back into a 3.0 and just enjoy myself. No fretting..Im comfortable with my friendships and will TRY to no longer be insecure with them...more updating later!!!

Last few daysssss = awesome

2006-01-04T03:04:42Z

Soooo.. I havent updated in a while and the snow drifts are pretty high so now is a good time....
Christmas was good..i got a digi camera that I've been enjoying. Ive been sleeping in till 2 everyday and just really enjoying myself. Friday I went down to Long Island and picked up S-Mo for the weekends festivities. We went to Osho's and got all dressed up. We had a most excellent time.

On Sat. Shan and I went to Adrianna's Pimps and Hoes party and got smashed. I was dancin all over the place and had a great time doing so. On Monday Gzim came up. Mommy, Eileen, Brian, and Shannon had a sleep over with kareoke and champagne and wine.(and pottt=)

Over all very good times

LAFFY TAFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-28T04:48:42Z

Dat laffy taffy (candy gurl)
Gurl shake dat laffy taffy
Dat laffy taffy
Shake dat laffy taffy
Dat laffy taffy
Gurl shake dat laffy taffy
Dat laffy taffy
Dat laffy taffy (candy gurl)
Dat laffy taffy

Heck Yah I did!!

2005-12-23T04:45:03Z

I got tanked and stoned at the A&P Christams Party even though Im not currently employed.

What a good fucking night, and I LOVE my Chris and Trisha so fucking much.

Friends till the end baby!!

Merry Christmas Yankees

2005-12-21T23:28:49Z

Johnny "Castaway" Damon is now a Yankee..Hell has just frozen over and pigs can fly

The End

Title for sale

2005-12-21T20:52:56Z

I'm going through something. Ive been so depressed and upset about life that Ive decided to clear out all the bad shit. Anyone and everyone who makes it a habit to let me down and make false claims is out. Nothing will ever replace the memories but that is all they are. Memmories. They cant stop trains and they can't cure disease. I know I might sound a little confusing on this but what Im trying to say is that sure times in the past were great but theres a point in everyones life when they have to stop and look around and take count of the people who have actually been there for you. Not the ones who claim to be(you know that one random night that they just so happened to be doing nothing and actually picked up the phone) but the true ones. As Eminem says, Im cleaning out my closet and getting rid of every bitch and basterd. And I hate to say it but I have found few that will be there. The ones who have come through time after time, they show me what true friends are and that Ive been too busy dwelling over the past and trying to mend it. Ive been so caught up that I havent realized the amount of people who have politly stepped over me and then stepped on me to get ahead. To be used as a backup, a scapegoat, a convient friend (God, that term comes up way to much). Well fuck that and fuck you, you, and you. I wont have it, I refuse to think low about myself when I have only ever been there for everyone and anyone. Im not mad or sad, Im just closing the door on something that is over. A fake smile will do and as for everything else...thanx for the memmories...PEACE!

Journal cries out...wtf Nicole!!

2005-12-18T07:24:20Z

I've neglected my journal. SO sorry. I'm home. This is the time I need to rest cause next semester is gonna kick my ass. I have so much to say but Im gonna try and keep this short. Last night I got home, where Gzim and I did our usual momma dukes bonding. It was nice cause I needed what we did. We both told each other about how much we missed last year. It was so much easier then and we had so much fun. If you ask me now what my favorite thing was about college it would have to be sleeping next to gzim. Not sex sleeping but our usual routine of me sleeping in his room every night and our afternoon naps. I fucking miss that..

Anyways so Im home now and my time is now with my friends and family. I've been feeling a bit lonely lately and it was nice to hear from Trisha and how much she missed me. Things like this gives me the confidence in the real world cause I know if I ever get lost or lonely they will always be there for me. Even Chris was asking when I was coming home cause he missed me whiceh really meant alot. I got to hang out with Aly tonight which was nice b/c I really havent talked to her much. I laid some massive shit out on the table. My message got through though. I made it very black and white for her. I really missed her and we needed to reconnect.

So now Im gonna crash cause tommorow we are getting the Christmas tree.

--Some thing else--

I sent out my applications: Oneonta, New Paltz, SUNYIT

I am bugging out..ugh

im ready to drop..i wake up to find its another 4 asprin morning and i dive in

2005-11-16T03:48:03Z

Yah, so much has been going on. I'm sitting duty for the 2nd night in a row and I have to sit this weekend also, so my life is being imprisoned** by Wieting hall. I want to write about what's been going on with me lately so I'm going to back track to Halloween. Me and my Shanny dressed up in these crazy cat wigs and got all pretty with makeup. We went to a friends party at cabin. The music was pumpin and the drinks were flowin (lol). I bought my gram for the occasion and got nice and high! And yes Nicole for the first time had her first random hookup and she didnt even know his real name. YES (am I slut now??? j/k) So Shan, Steph and I took off @like 4 in the morning leaving our crazy night behind and headed back to Cobleskill for some real sleep. What else, oh yea, that Thursday got wasted and dont really remember the rest of the night. The following weekend I went home with Gzim and Shannon on an emergency whim and smoked tons and played lots of beer pong!! We also had some good home cooked food and enjoyed the company of my momma dukes and aunt Gail.

Guilty?? YES!!! I have been going to Country Night and having a fantastic time. I know the Cotton I Joe(sp) and the Sweet Home Alabama dances.

Things have been catching up with me though. The tension is so thick you could slice it with a knife. It's making me crazy. No more drama, thats my moto for next semester. I have a feeling though next semester will be very different. I keep hearing the whispers of I got an F in this and I never go to that class..most of my friends will be leaving at the end of the semester and it will end up being the originals: Steph, Gzim?? (Shan too but we werent as close last year) What do I def. know though?? I will be returning reguardless. In the long run I have myself to take care of and nothing is going to stop me from succeeding.

Today and up coming goals:

The best friend of 10 years and I are connecting very well. I miss her terribly and after its all said and done with bullshit at SUNY Cobleskill she is my homebase and I would love nothing more then to sit in a room with her and just forget everything except for the forever bond I have with her and just laugh. ---**TODAY**--- I went to Court for my 42 in a 30 and have to go to a bench hearing on the 15th of Dec. **FUN** and then Shan and I went to McDonald's where I got locked out of my car and had to walk down the road to get service and get the spare from one of my girls on the floor. Such a fun day and then on top of all that .... I have thanksgiving to look foward to.... I effing miss my Pawling friends sooooooooooooooooo much. They complete me!!

I have so much work coming up that I've decided to stay within these Wieting walls and avoid all drama. I dont want to know about it. Im just going to bury myself in my work and not come out until Thanksgiving break is done. This weekend Im having sleepover since I cant go anywhere. I'm looking foward to Jenga and Sweet Home Alabama a difference from the usual partying!!

This looks sufficient for now.

Back to CITA work for Franny =(

Mugoo and Temple Inc.

hands tied behind my back and i cant breathe

2005-11-04T19:02:41Z

Have you ever felt so helpless to a friend that you yourself start to have your own breakdown..welcome to my life. I havent written in a while and I was looking back at my previous entries and they are all sad and depressed. I promise thats not how I am all the time. Those are select momments and it just so happens that lately Ive been inspired to write when Im at my lowest. (I got a little side tracked there) My day was a wreck. I've never felt a rush like the one I felt today. Ive been worried all day. I love you so much and I cant help. When you fall, I fall(i get it now.) Im so sorry for everything that is happpening to you. Its kind of funny, as soon a I regain my stregnth and pick myself up, a friend goes down and im just in time to catch them.

"You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day
When everything inside me has died?"
My reply:
"Trust me, girl
I know your legs are pleading to leap
But I offer you this easy choice-
Instead of dying, living with me"

Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

this well is so dry..whats the sense in trying to squeeze anything else out it??

2005-10-26T03:20:59Z

I have this blank space in front me and so many things running through my head...

I try so hard yet I get no where. I want to give up and throw in the towel. My head is screaming you moron, your not good enough. You are a bad person. Im so fucking insecure. How do you beat it?? Everything I have put fourth here is falling apart. I dont know my friends anymore. They shock the hell out of me. Im pretty sure they don't need me anymore. Cobleskill is a failure in my eyes. Some where along the lines I let a my guard down. I put a little more of myself out there and now I've just gone to far. I'm a back up friend. That one thats always around for the good advice or even a nice venting ear, but thats it. I feel like people hide things from me. What's wrong with me?? I never say or do the right thing. I'm a bitch, a gossiper, a whore, annoying, "bad friend" or even a bad person. I hate myself. I've let everyone down at some point and now..I feel like everything is sugar coated around me. It's not real, it's fake. Maybe I'll go somewhere where nobody knows me. Because in all reality you don't truely know me. I'm such a convient person that one day I will disapear and what then?? They'll just forget about me and my exsistence. And whats the riot that will come after this, maybe a stir maybe not. I might even hear, "thats not true, but it's only because I made a noise, did you know to say something before when everything around me seemed to be going down in flames. Or maybe I just failed it. Everything has crashed and burn. I'm not strong enough. Why is life so complicated. At this point the reader flips down to the next entry, its ok, this is just me venting.

torn..but happy

2005-10-20T17:37:15Z

I'm in between classes right now...

So it was a tough decision but I've decided to stay. As soon as I gave Carrie the news that I was leaving I starting thinking...was this the right choice. I know why originally I had wanted to leave but when it came down to it, my reasoning was non-exsistant. I did have problems and I was depressed but something happened where I finally opened my eyes and started to appreciate what I had around me. I talked everyone into believing that this was best for me, leaving, moving away from my problems. But then when I thought about it, I had finally opened myself up and finally accepted the fact that things wherent going to be the same as they were last year(thank you late night convo till 4=). My girls are great and even better is the staff that supported me through everything*thank you for that* I had to make my own choice and not let anyone influence it. I let my Cheesy down, Im so sorry, you were the last person I wanted to hurt, it's just that I needed to find myself and I didnt want any regrets, so know that I'm always here and I <3 you!

Last weekend was awesome---I got to see my first hockey game, there were lots of fights!!

My week went by much smoother..I got alot of my work done and it was just an overall happier experiance.

Coming up--

Going home this weekend and Im going to Fright Fest with the behr, dirty, and my fieldtrip!! (alcohol and a hotel room..YESSSSS)
next Friday is staff bonding (yay) and Saturday is the Halloween Cabin Party including pot and alcohol (so excited, gettin TANKED) and then following weekend Saw 2 (hopefully wit Gzim and crew)

Peace yo,
Sessal

It's raining...somebody's waiting for me out in the rain!!!

2005-10-13T17:18:36Z

Alot has happened and I'm actually in the mood to write so bear with me.....

Last Friday- one night, one band, Fall Out Boy (effing amazing) O man it was such a good time. And worth every second of it. Standing in the rain, getting kicked in the head by a crowd surfer, shoving some guy to the ground for elbowing me for my spot, the "Dane Concert" stance, SAVING Shannon from being squashed in the stage area...Ugh so fun! Yes and then afterwards not as fun b/c Nicole got lost in Albany and almost got shot. (yah shot, i said it)

Weekend home was just what I needed. It def. didnt last nearly long enough and once again I missed my Stef =( I got to hang out with my mommy at boomers and we decorated Aunt Gails garage (or wait, i take that back, i supervised) I got to see my best friend in the entire world (just in case you were wondering that was Miss Kristin Partenio (who apparently is now a BET lover and has herself a good ole' Southern boy) Life throws some interesting curve balls! What can you do?? I bonded with the Unc and had some laughs with my highschool buds Trisha Behr and Christopher Sanchez..whoop whoop. Yup just the 5 of us, Trisha, Chris, Me, Ben and Jerry ($.99 from the talented frozen foods manger) Smoked some pot, a given, and bonded with my Aunt Gail. Yankee's lost =(

Got back to school Wednesday with a new outlook. I'm taking my depression and getting rid of it. I was so afraid of being alone all this time, that when I finally opened my eyes I had people all around. My girls on the floor. So took them for granted. So I'm changing some of my habits. I'm going to do what I've always been able to do, march to the beat of my own drummer. Instead of wallowing in the past I'm going to treasure it and embrace the future. Things can not go back the way that you want them and its just a fate I have to except. I'm going to treasure my memories and embrace the future. And I'm going to know that even though I dont always see them, I'll always have my friends and family. And the ones I given that title "best", know that each one of you have helped me get right back on my feet.

So this weekend is camping with CGC and next weekend is Fright Fest with Trisha, Chris, and Martin???

PS.. There's now a 6th for the house so I'm really excited for that, I just have to break the news to my girls and RD...Not gonna lie..its gonna be tough

Love always,
Nicole (Wieting RA Bottom A)
and proud of it!

Busy Busy Busy..but there is a light at the end of the tunnel

2005-10-03T22:46:49Z

Today didnt start out well. I missed my first class today :/ I went to CITA and then laid back with Shan and Gzim until class started for him. Shan and I did some work in the mac lab and then back to Dix for my Mary and Dani fix. David was there too. We got on the topic of the house they are moving into. They need a 5th and I can get my finacial aid to cover the money for the semester. So tempting. They need to know by Wednesday. Maybe it could help knock some of my depression. I'd be with people I really like and who are there for me. Not that I dont have that now but I still feel unapart of things where I'm at. I'm calling momma dukes on that one. It's a big shift though. I would have to give up my RA position and probably get a job. Gotta sleep on that one.

Tonight:
7pm-RA Hall Council Meeting
8pm-Floor Meeting
9:15pm-Staff meeting

busy busy busy...*LIGHT*

Friday--FALL OUT BOY with Dani and Shan..im so excited and then after the concert it's off to P-town. Get me out of cobleskill and back home. I need a break. I miss my mom and Aunt Gail and even my jackass brother. Im coming home to spend my time with the Behr and Dirty. Im so effing excited. No worries, for a weekend anyways. Kristin is going to be home too so im going to spend some much needed time with her too. ANNNNNDDDD..I need to see the cousins and Aunt.

Lets hope its a good weekend

Peace out doggy style
Tempster

Shake it off.......

2005-10-01T03:59:07Z

Grrr..Yankees lost tonight. Im distraut but there's a cute pizza man in front of me, anyways, Im trying to shake this odd depression that has come over me. Its like a cloud that has lingered over my head. Even when I'm happy it only lasts for a short while. I dont know what's wrong with me. I need to do some life thinking. I'm such an independent person and now I'm terrified to be by myself. It's so wierd because the things that have made

half way done here...to be continued

Where is your boy tonight??

2005-09-26T06:17:03Z

What the hell is wrong with me. Anybody got any ideas?? Usually I use my journal to write about events that have gone down, but I freeze when I start to write and all that comes out are bad and negative thoughts and feelings. Why can't

Self-Conclusion"

Fade in, start the scene
Enter beautiful girl
But things are not what they seem
As we stand at the edge of the world

"Excuse me, sir,
But I have plans to die tonight
Oh, and you are directly in my way
And I bet you're gonna say it's not right"
My reply:
"Excuse me, miss
But do you have the slightest clue
Of exactly what you just said to me
And exactly who you're talking to?"

She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"
I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

"You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day
When everything inside me has died?"
My reply:
"Trust me, girl
I know your legs are pleading to leap
But I offer you this easy choice-
Instead of dying, living with me"

She said, "Are you crazy? You don't even know me."
I said, "I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough
I could stand here all night trying to convince you
But what good would that do?
My offer stands, and you must choose

"All right, you win, but I only give you one night
To prove yourself to be better than my atttempt at flight
I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap
I will toss myself from these very cliffs
And you'll never see it coming"
"Settle, precious, I know what you're going through
Just ten minutes before you got here I was going to jump too"

Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

And thats what I want..is to be *saved*

quickey

2005-09-19T05:10:02Z

I needed this weekend so much. I had a great time home and I def. needed to reconnect with Gzim and see my mom. Funfilled but a little graphic for me to go into details so Ill just leave it at a great time that has to repeat itself. Nikki and Mary added to the weekend which made it even better.

Emily Rose----GO SEE IT!! (IM SCERD)

--->Coby out!

Built these walls of concrete castles...

2005-09-15T19:02:19Z

Home=simplicity School=complicity ... Why can't there be a gray area ...

~you can only hold together for so long until you snap~

2005-09-15T07:16:51Z

...and she snapped. Not just a little freak out, but a big one at that. It only happens once and a blue moon, but oh did it happen. I'm so sorry but you had to know. It needed to be done. I need it to be done. I REFUSE to let it go on. I'm not built that way and neither are you. We will figure this out together and it WILL get resolved. I can not, will not, have it any other way.

You are my sister and I hold you close to my heart. I'm here for you always, you need to know that.

you and i collide

2005-09-13T00:58:26Z

what to do...im sitting here with my friend and trying to make some sense on her moving on. December is just around the corner, and then it's good bye SUNY Cobleskill. My time is also coming quickly. Soon enough Cobleskill will be a memory, just as highschool was, and once again it will be time to move on. Ive made the most wonderful ties here and I'm not sure if Im ready to go yet but if anything I need to go on. Take my memories and move on. Its so difficult to grasp the idea that my time here is almost done. It's only the beginning of the year but it's catching up with me as one by one I will watch my friends leave. Its such a repeat of highschool. Atleast we were ALL moving on though, at the same time. We all made our steps into the world, some not as far as others but none the less all moved onto the next step whether we wanted to or not. Ive come to a cross road in my life though. No longer do I have my friends in one spot when I go on break. I will no longer be able to see these people unless we make the effort because the causal "bump in" will not be an option. This is so difficult.

Ive made my mark here. I love to walk the campus and know most of the faces. A friendly smile remindes me that I did it. I belonged to Cobleskill. But then there are the unfamiliar faces. Mostly these are the freshman here to make thier own marks. So, I shall step aside and hopefully they love Coby just as much as I did.

A burden that was on my shoulders has been lifted just a little bit. Not to be corny, but my soul mate is going to come with me. This is something I wanted more then anything. He's been there through the good and bad. I also need you too. I cant imagine a day going by not knowing that you aren't there. We may fight about, well everything, but I don't want to be without you.

I know its cut short, but gotta wrap this up

<3 Coby

Clever rhymes, see you lata!

2005-09-05T18:38:38Z

So I met with my advisor today to discuss my break down because I thought all my work was gone. Curve balls thrown in all directions. She wants me out of here at the end of the year. "Advised" against the extra semester. Takes everything I was thinking I "should" do and shuts it down. First off Oneonta was ify because she wasnt sure if they would take all my credits, and wasnt to sure of the program. She also wants me to look into SUNY IT (a technology school.) She says that we are closely affiliated to them and they will take all my credits. I know it's only the beginning of the year but I need to know what I'm doing. I hate leaving things open to the last minute. It's pretty good though for the most part because I will have Shan going through the same stuff becuase she is in the same major. The only thing that I had stirring in the back of my head was the idea of betrayal to a friend. A friendship that has been put to the test several times before. We made an agreement to each other without fully knowing the pro's and con's of the situation. My ideas for this semester are not what I thought they would be so I needed to know if I was making the right decision. As it stands right now, Im not going to be here for the extra semester. I refuse to stay here for the extra semester if its not necessary. As for my friend, when I first came to college I came here with out a friend in the world. I felt so alone, but I knew my education was most important. And yes I made friends and I'm having a blast but I am here for my education and not for all fun. But, you are one of my best friends and I love you with all my heart. I dont want to leave you. If you could, I would love for you to come with me. I want you to come with me more then anything. I have a connection to you like no other and I dont want you to ever feel betrayed...I love you!

Next topic...ehhh..thats enough to deal with for now

to be continued....